The story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Always,

Wiling

Fly Free !

Want to wake up every morning to see this?

Friends,

I was searching for a picture of a sunrise when I discovered this picture ....(it's my desktop wall paper now... :) )

wainscott, NY; near southampton. by Sam Javanrouh
"I know this is a very cliche photo but there are two things that make it special for me. first; this was my first visit to atlantic ocean (although it lasted less than 5 minutes). and second; it's not everyday that I'm up so early to witness the sunrise! "

You Remember?

I think you will agree that, some how the pictures brings back memories...

...of the morning you walked on the beach, you felt a slight chill in the air, it was cold, but the sunrise was mesmorizing and you continued to walk on. You could feel the sand under your feet, it felt cold and wet. And at every step, you could feel the cool sand squeeze through your toes and you looked down to see your feet sink into the sand and reappear again. Your hair was blown across your face but you didn't care if you looked messy. You didn't care even if you didn't wash your face, you just looked on at the sunrise.

In the distance you saw seagulls dancing in the air and soaking up the sun and breeze, floating and flapping at the same time. There weren't many, only a few and the sounds they made, seem to welcome you to the beach. "Hey Good Morning! Rise and Shine! A wonderful morning to you!" As you stopped for a while, you noticed the shades of color in the sky, deep blue to brilliant and awsome orange. You noticed the feather like clouds in the sky and suddenly felt so light, so relaxed, so completely free and happy, as if any minute you would be lifted off your feet from the cool sand and float in the air.

You then looked back behind you and noticed that a crowd had gathered. Your friends and family, were all looking at the same direction. Some were just sitting up mesmorized just like you. Some were frozen in their foot steps still holding two cups of hot coffee looking at this amazing new day. Some were sitting side by side, holding each other and resting their heads on each other, at a distance you could see the sparkle from their eyes as they looked on. You could tell they were in love. Far on the right, your friend was sitting by himself, and for the longest time, you gazed in his direction. Feeling strange and happy at the same time, because, it's been so long since he smiled. And he just sat ther smiling at the sunrise. It was like he understood it all...life made sense.

You turned back to witness this amazing sunrise, and ever so softly, you could almost hear someone saying to you, "What are you waiting for...? What are you waiting for...?" Over and over again, it became louder and louder as the waves crashed down on the beach and touched your toes. It was the sea. It was talking to you. And as the water climbed over your feet, you could feel a sense of release and calm, all your burdens seem to dissappear and wash away. Nothing mattered. What mattered was how you felt that instant. You felt so happy, so excited about the future, so confident that seeing a new day appear before you, you could handle anything in your path, so very peaceful and full of joy, so so good!

You sat and watched this miracle only to smile more. Because you know you could see it again tomorrow morning from your home by the sea.

"What are you waiting for...? What are you waiting for...? What are you waiting for...? " - The Sea

Always,
Wiling

Attract Beautiful Sunrises Everyday!

Negotiating for Life

Why is it that circumstances or events or others seems to get the better of us?

Why can't we handle it or figure it out?

I hope that the following sharing can give some insights into our ability to, may be, better control our life.

A few weeks ago, I enrolled in a training/retreat. Prior to the training, we were given a book to read, "Mastery: The key to longterm fulfillment and success" by George Leonard, and in that book this concept of negotiation came up.

Often times we get excited about something and we start taking the necessary actions to achieve results, but as we reach home or when we are with ourselves, we some how lose the momentum and energy to carry through. Familiar isn't it?

When this happens, only the strong will have the persistence to pursue and progress. What is it that these people have that most don't, want to know?

We are all governed my a natural law called inertia. The definition of inertia is the tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest. In other words, if we do not make effort to change, we won't.

Another law that governs us is homeostasis. Homeostasis is the property of both any system, especially living beings, to regulate its internal environment to maintain a stable, constant condition. So, when we feel cold, our body hair sticks up, or when we are hot, we sweat, the body is regulating itself.

The interesting thing about this is that it happens in our lives, when we seek to do something we have not done before, like reading, going to training, makeing phone calls, because it is something we don't do, that we need to take conscious effor to do, our environment whether internal or external acts on us, regulates us to stop doing it. Both inertia and homestasis is working and it goes OVER TIME! We immediately feel the pressure and STOP doing it.

Examples:

"I want to read a book, but I'm tired..."
"I want to go to training, but it's raining..."
"I want to do my business, but my family and children are nagging me..."

It is true that when this happens, those with stronger will power and courage will continue, which explains their success in life. They WANT IT BADLY and they will do whatever necessary to achieve it. And I absolutely believe that with a GREAT BIG DREAM and GOAL you will have BIGGER will power and courage. Simply put...

What would you do if you were not afraid?

So, what happens if my dream is BIG, but I still can't continue or I allow the circumstance to dictate my life?

In the book, the author George Leonard, says that to handle homeostasis or change, there are 4 steps.

1) Awareness that homeostasis is happening. This is key, for many, we avoid, fight, ignore, pretend and forget it is there. It is convienient to deal with it. So we end up taking actions such as:

"I want to read a book, but I'm tired... Aiyah! forget it lah, I'm not good at reading anyway!"
"I want to go to training, but it's raining...Shucks! I'll be all wet, I hate it when its wet!"
"I want o do my business, but my family and children are nagging me... FINE! Nag all you want, I'm going anyway!"

Does that sound familiar? When this happens, no body wins. In fact, we ultimately lose. You will not learn anything, by giving up reading, and if you focus on your business, your family will be damaged. So, 1st we must be aware that this 'tug-of-war' with ourselves and environment is actually occuring. On then can you do the next important step.


2) Negotiate. Negotiation, I feel is the most powerful leverage you can give yourself. Have you seen the movie Negotiator? When a negotiator negotiates with the hijacker, is it true that the hijacker can get all that he want's? Or is it true that the negotiator is in control? Well, to me, both the negotiator and hijacker (Environment and circumstance) are on even keel. They are equally powerful. The opposite to negotiating is compromising. When we compromise, somebody loses, ultimately, nobody wins! So, the power negotiating puts YOU in control to manage the situation. Your tiredness, the rain or the family and children are not BIGGER than you, you are EQUAL.



Now, this will bring a huge amount of relief for many people right away. Some will feel an instant realization of conifidence and personal power. Why? Well, because, for the 1st time, you will realise that you are not bound to your environment, you are free to make YOUR CHOICE! You are FREE TO DECIDE and negotiate the life you want. You are now FREE!

Enjoy this feeling of being in control.

How you you negotiate with tiredness, rain, family or children? For the environment, things that are outside your control, negotiate with yourself, create a solution that both will be happy with. Instead of reading one chapter, just read 2 pages! If you can't stop the rain, negotiate with yourself to see the value of that training and it's importance (What would you do if you were not afraid to get wet?). Negotiate with the family to make arrangements that will benefit everyone, schedule and plan ahead ("Things that are important mus never be at the mercy of things that are urgent." - Van Goethe). We can negotiate, it's our right to negotiate.




3) You will need help and that is why you will need a support group that helps you. Know that we are human beings who live with each other and are influenced by each others actions and beliefs. If you are a rock standing alone, it will be impossible for you to get support to move, unless you are among a group of rocks who are rubbing sholders with you and are also moving forward as well. You will have the motivation to move yourself.




4) Even with a support group, nothing happens without constant practice. So, we must constantly be aware about ourselvs and if homeostasis is happening and negotiate ourselves to success and persist with whatever we want to do. Practice practice and practice!

So, with these 4 steps, you will be able to handle change. And when you are excited about something and you know you really want it, all you need to do, is to NEGOTIATE FOR LIFE!

Always,

Wiling

Attract it!

Team Hoyt - World's Strongest Dad

Can you imagine....

Nothing I can say.... I can now only feel.

Thank you Rick & Dick!

Always,

Wiling

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influences the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today?

~Author Unknown

From the Encourager: "If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, Genius would flourish and we would have Abundance beyond our wildest imagination."~Michael Thomas

Never Give Up!

The Mindset of Attraction

If you can't find what you are looking for, the the issue could be or a possible question may be, "Are you actually looking for it?"

Some people tend to wonder around hoping that something good meets them. And in many cases they are looking for luck to happen. Luck doesn't just happen, it happens because you were prepared to recieve it.

A lot has been said about the Law of Attraction. And I firmly believe that it exists, most of what has happened to me, has been because of a conscious thought, an imagination or vision of what I want.

However, to attract, we need to know what we are looking for in order to attract it to us.

We need to be always on a look out on exactly what we want, so much so, that it becomes a habit and a lifestyle. It is like a policeman looking out to prevent crime, constantly searching for signs, patterns, trends and clues. In fact when you have made it into a habit, you will be looking for it unconsciously.

But, let's take a step back. How do we make ourselves to have this habit of searching? And more importantly, what attitude do we need to have, when we are searching?

If you look at the world from a point of view of it being a chore and tedious routine and would rather sit at home not doing much, then you wouldn't have a tendency to search for what you want. You have already cancelled all possible means of recieving or attract it. You will jusify to yourself how it is a worthless cause to go out and search, that it will be the same anyway, so why bother.

But if you look at the world from a point of view of it being exciting, fresh and new, then every event, occurance, meeting appointment, class, even if you have been there 100 times, will all seem exciting. This is because you are expecting to meet someone new, hear a new way of doing the same thing, trigger a new thought and grow.

Why? Well, each event, occurance, appointment and class builds on to itself. You are never the same person you were a minute ago. Everytime you hear something, even if it is a repeat, is now analysed by your brain in a different context. Just like layers of lava pouring over itself, the first layer cools, and then more lava is flows over it, and adds on the the height. The first few layers are the building blocks of more layers to come. And as well continue to pour new experiences and new feelings on top of existing ones, we become rich with understanding and possibility.

We are never the same person listening to the same speech, we grew a little smarter between the speeches, and the second time around, we looked at it differently, we learned and improved. Sometimes, we learn a little bit, but other times, our growth is exponential. Expect this to happen always.

So, if we go out searching. Make it a point to look at every event, appointment and occurance a gift for you to learn from. These are the marks to success that luck leaves behind for you to follow. Make every effort to be prepared to never miss one. Who know what it may bring?

I will share ways to make searching a habit in my later blogs.

Meanwhile, be excited to do the searching, that's the way to find what you want. And be prepared to recieve it too!

Always,

Wiling

"Attracting it!"

"I know, I will catch a fish!" Thinking

Every wondered why we have mind blocks about certain things? Why we just don't believe we can do something?

Well, this may or may not help, but it may give you some possibilities to think about.

I recently shared with a friend about a certain mind block that he wanted to remove. You see, where I work, we are required to write new ideas up and submit them for disclosure and hopefully become accepted and recieve a US patent for them.

This friend of mine, kept saying: "I just don't have any ideas!"

So, as I discussed about this issue, it came to me that his greatest interest was fishing! So I asked this question:

"Buddy, you like fishing, right?"

"Sure do! It's really addictive!"

"So, when you go fishing, do you believe you will catch fish?"

"Of course! That's the point of fishing!"

"I see. So you have no doubt to catch a fish, right?"

"Absolutely!"

"Ok! In fact, I think you not only know you will catch a fish, you actually know about how many you will catch and further more, how big the fish will be, right?"

"Yes! I do!"

"Well, your issue with not being able to generate ideas is exactly the same! When you need to write up ideas, you have already closed up your mind to be able to generate ideas, right? But when you go fishing, you already know you will catch fish, how many and how big! But, here is a question to you: Are you gauranteed to catch fish?"

"Not really..."

"You see, it's not that you can't generate ideas, it's because you already DECIDED you can't! And for such a boring chance sport like fishing, you are able to already decide you will catch fish even before you put the hook to the water. The fundamental issue here is that you created your own mind block!"

"I understand now!"

Although this may sound trivial, it tells us a lot about what we think about. Yes, you could say that he has more interest in fishing so he has more confidence in catching fish. True. But you could argue that if you are to do something, do it 100%, that includes having the right attitude and mindset about what you are going to do. If you are going to spend 60 minutes on something, make it the BEST 60 minutes of your life. If you don't, than expect poor results. Don't wish or hope that things will come out alright. "Hope is not a good strategy" - John C. Macwell.

When you jump into the water, and you do not know how to swim. My advice?

You better start kicking and splashing, focus on swimming and nothing else. Your life is at stake! No time to think about, "I cannot swim..." or "I don't know how to swim..." Just have the right attitude, remove your mental block and SWIM!

The good news! We are already in the water and 3 feet away! So, the worse won't happen, it's all in your mind anyway!

I hope that this helps you to understand your mental block and what you have already forecasted for your life. You see, strange that, what you forecast for yourself, seems to happen. Why not forecast for brighter days, beautiful horizons, amazing sunrises, dazzling stars and soothing breezes.

YES! I know it's going to be a beautiful day today!

Always,

Wiling

Attract it!

Penang, Malaysia, Sunday, 28th Jan 2007