The Value of Shared Thinking by Dr. John C. Maxwell

I used to think that leaders liked change and followers didn't. I had this idea that leaders were out on the edge and they had a machete (parang) and they were cutting a path through the jungles of life, and they were always out in the front leading change, and the followers were way back crossing their arms singing, "I Shall Not Be Moved."

What I've learned is this--that leaders don't like change any more than followers unless it is their idea! Think about it for a moment when change does not occur in an organization, it's never a follower's problem because followers do what followers do—followers follow. When change does not occur in the organization, it's because some of the leaders in that organization didn't like the change. And why don't leaders like the changes? Because they're always asking, "What's this going to do to me? How's this going to affect my turf?" And they say to themselves, "This could affect my turf. This could hurt me."

Followers seldom stop change because they lack influence; leaders often stop change because they have influence. The potential for change in your organization increases with participation. What you want to do is involve as many people as you possibly can in the change process. In fact, successful people know how to get shared thinking in their arena. They not only have their thinking but they know how to bring people around and say, "What do you think about this?"

A great idea just doesn't become a great idea. A great idea is a compounding effect of a lot of good ideas; it's out of the getting a lot of good ideas on the table that you get a great idea. The right kind of collaboration will drastically improve the quality of the ideas being shared. So the value of understanding shared thinking is that the more good people you bring into a room and get around the table, the higher your odds of getting great ideas.

I do this exercise all the time: Every week, I put different groups of people around a table, depending on what I'm trying to accomplish, to get their ideas on the table. I don't, however, just open up the door and say, "Okay, what do you all think?" You don't want to do that because most people don't think. You don't want to say, "Everybody tell us what you think." Ninety percent of the people don't think at all. Ninety percent of the people just look for a line that's moving and get in it!

So how do you know what kind of person to bring around the table? Listed below are ten kinds of people you want.

1. People whose greatest desire is the success of the idea.

You don't want people around the table who want to see the idea fail. You have to have people around the table who are committed to the success of the idea.

2. People who can compound another person's thought.

You want to bring people around the table who can take somebody else's thought and play off of it and tweak it and make it better.

3. People who emotionally can handle the changes of conversation.

The creative conversation is going to go left and right, and up and down. It's an emotional roller coaster, and you want someone who won't let their feelings get in the way of progress.

4. People who appreciate strengths in others where they are weak.

These are people who can complement one another. For example, where you've got one person who's a focus thinker and another person who's a creative thinker, they will have to be able to appreciate the input of the other.

5. People who recognize their place of value at the table.

They know why they're there. If they don't, you will have a problem.

6. People who place what is best for them below what is best for the team.

These people know to check their egos at the door. Subordinating your own agenda to what is best for everyone is always good.

7. People who can bring out the best thinking of those around them.

When somebody comes up with a great thought, they can probe a little and say, "Come on, go a little bit deeper here. Talk to me a little bit more. Give me some more out of this."

8. People who possess maturity, experience and success in the issue being discussed.

I want all three. I don't want maturity without success, I don't want experience without success, and I certainly don't want success without either.

9. People who take ownership and responsibility for the decisions that are made.

They have the ability to come to the table and, after there is a shared concept and idea or thought that evolves around it, they can take ownership of it.

10. People who can leave the table with a "we" attitude and not a "me" attitude.

Teamwork is essential to accomplishing great things. You always want people who are willing and able to grasp this concept on your team.

Commit to getting these ten types of people around the table in a shared thinking meeting and watch the results! -- John C. Maxwell

The story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Always,

Wiling

Fly Free !

Want to wake up every morning to see this?

Friends,

I was searching for a picture of a sunrise when I discovered this picture ....(it's my desktop wall paper now... :) )

wainscott, NY; near southampton. by Sam Javanrouh
"I know this is a very cliche photo but there are two things that make it special for me. first; this was my first visit to atlantic ocean (although it lasted less than 5 minutes). and second; it's not everyday that I'm up so early to witness the sunrise! "

You Remember?

I think you will agree that, some how the pictures brings back memories...

...of the morning you walked on the beach, you felt a slight chill in the air, it was cold, but the sunrise was mesmorizing and you continued to walk on. You could feel the sand under your feet, it felt cold and wet. And at every step, you could feel the cool sand squeeze through your toes and you looked down to see your feet sink into the sand and reappear again. Your hair was blown across your face but you didn't care if you looked messy. You didn't care even if you didn't wash your face, you just looked on at the sunrise.

In the distance you saw seagulls dancing in the air and soaking up the sun and breeze, floating and flapping at the same time. There weren't many, only a few and the sounds they made, seem to welcome you to the beach. "Hey Good Morning! Rise and Shine! A wonderful morning to you!" As you stopped for a while, you noticed the shades of color in the sky, deep blue to brilliant and awsome orange. You noticed the feather like clouds in the sky and suddenly felt so light, so relaxed, so completely free and happy, as if any minute you would be lifted off your feet from the cool sand and float in the air.

You then looked back behind you and noticed that a crowd had gathered. Your friends and family, were all looking at the same direction. Some were just sitting up mesmorized just like you. Some were frozen in their foot steps still holding two cups of hot coffee looking at this amazing new day. Some were sitting side by side, holding each other and resting their heads on each other, at a distance you could see the sparkle from their eyes as they looked on. You could tell they were in love. Far on the right, your friend was sitting by himself, and for the longest time, you gazed in his direction. Feeling strange and happy at the same time, because, it's been so long since he smiled. And he just sat ther smiling at the sunrise. It was like he understood it all...life made sense.

You turned back to witness this amazing sunrise, and ever so softly, you could almost hear someone saying to you, "What are you waiting for...? What are you waiting for...?" Over and over again, it became louder and louder as the waves crashed down on the beach and touched your toes. It was the sea. It was talking to you. And as the water climbed over your feet, you could feel a sense of release and calm, all your burdens seem to dissappear and wash away. Nothing mattered. What mattered was how you felt that instant. You felt so happy, so excited about the future, so confident that seeing a new day appear before you, you could handle anything in your path, so very peaceful and full of joy, so so good!

You sat and watched this miracle only to smile more. Because you know you could see it again tomorrow morning from your home by the sea.

"What are you waiting for...? What are you waiting for...? What are you waiting for...? " - The Sea

Always,
Wiling

Attract Beautiful Sunrises Everyday!

Negotiating for Life

Why is it that circumstances or events or others seems to get the better of us?

Why can't we handle it or figure it out?

I hope that the following sharing can give some insights into our ability to, may be, better control our life.

A few weeks ago, I enrolled in a training/retreat. Prior to the training, we were given a book to read, "Mastery: The key to longterm fulfillment and success" by George Leonard, and in that book this concept of negotiation came up.

Often times we get excited about something and we start taking the necessary actions to achieve results, but as we reach home or when we are with ourselves, we some how lose the momentum and energy to carry through. Familiar isn't it?

When this happens, only the strong will have the persistence to pursue and progress. What is it that these people have that most don't, want to know?

We are all governed my a natural law called inertia. The definition of inertia is the tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest. In other words, if we do not make effort to change, we won't.

Another law that governs us is homeostasis. Homeostasis is the property of both any system, especially living beings, to regulate its internal environment to maintain a stable, constant condition. So, when we feel cold, our body hair sticks up, or when we are hot, we sweat, the body is regulating itself.

The interesting thing about this is that it happens in our lives, when we seek to do something we have not done before, like reading, going to training, makeing phone calls, because it is something we don't do, that we need to take conscious effor to do, our environment whether internal or external acts on us, regulates us to stop doing it. Both inertia and homestasis is working and it goes OVER TIME! We immediately feel the pressure and STOP doing it.

Examples:

"I want to read a book, but I'm tired..."
"I want to go to training, but it's raining..."
"I want to do my business, but my family and children are nagging me..."

It is true that when this happens, those with stronger will power and courage will continue, which explains their success in life. They WANT IT BADLY and they will do whatever necessary to achieve it. And I absolutely believe that with a GREAT BIG DREAM and GOAL you will have BIGGER will power and courage. Simply put...

What would you do if you were not afraid?

So, what happens if my dream is BIG, but I still can't continue or I allow the circumstance to dictate my life?

In the book, the author George Leonard, says that to handle homeostasis or change, there are 4 steps.

1) Awareness that homeostasis is happening. This is key, for many, we avoid, fight, ignore, pretend and forget it is there. It is convienient to deal with it. So we end up taking actions such as:

"I want to read a book, but I'm tired... Aiyah! forget it lah, I'm not good at reading anyway!"
"I want to go to training, but it's raining...Shucks! I'll be all wet, I hate it when its wet!"
"I want o do my business, but my family and children are nagging me... FINE! Nag all you want, I'm going anyway!"

Does that sound familiar? When this happens, no body wins. In fact, we ultimately lose. You will not learn anything, by giving up reading, and if you focus on your business, your family will be damaged. So, 1st we must be aware that this 'tug-of-war' with ourselves and environment is actually occuring. On then can you do the next important step.


2) Negotiate. Negotiation, I feel is the most powerful leverage you can give yourself. Have you seen the movie Negotiator? When a negotiator negotiates with the hijacker, is it true that the hijacker can get all that he want's? Or is it true that the negotiator is in control? Well, to me, both the negotiator and hijacker (Environment and circumstance) are on even keel. They are equally powerful. The opposite to negotiating is compromising. When we compromise, somebody loses, ultimately, nobody wins! So, the power negotiating puts YOU in control to manage the situation. Your tiredness, the rain or the family and children are not BIGGER than you, you are EQUAL.



Now, this will bring a huge amount of relief for many people right away. Some will feel an instant realization of conifidence and personal power. Why? Well, because, for the 1st time, you will realise that you are not bound to your environment, you are free to make YOUR CHOICE! You are FREE TO DECIDE and negotiate the life you want. You are now FREE!

Enjoy this feeling of being in control.

How you you negotiate with tiredness, rain, family or children? For the environment, things that are outside your control, negotiate with yourself, create a solution that both will be happy with. Instead of reading one chapter, just read 2 pages! If you can't stop the rain, negotiate with yourself to see the value of that training and it's importance (What would you do if you were not afraid to get wet?). Negotiate with the family to make arrangements that will benefit everyone, schedule and plan ahead ("Things that are important mus never be at the mercy of things that are urgent." - Van Goethe). We can negotiate, it's our right to negotiate.




3) You will need help and that is why you will need a support group that helps you. Know that we are human beings who live with each other and are influenced by each others actions and beliefs. If you are a rock standing alone, it will be impossible for you to get support to move, unless you are among a group of rocks who are rubbing sholders with you and are also moving forward as well. You will have the motivation to move yourself.




4) Even with a support group, nothing happens without constant practice. So, we must constantly be aware about ourselvs and if homeostasis is happening and negotiate ourselves to success and persist with whatever we want to do. Practice practice and practice!

So, with these 4 steps, you will be able to handle change. And when you are excited about something and you know you really want it, all you need to do, is to NEGOTIATE FOR LIFE!

Always,

Wiling

Attract it!

Team Hoyt - World's Strongest Dad

Can you imagine....

Nothing I can say.... I can now only feel.

Thank you Rick & Dick!

Always,

Wiling

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influences the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today?

~Author Unknown

From the Encourager: "If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, Genius would flourish and we would have Abundance beyond our wildest imagination."~Michael Thomas

Never Give Up!